No Mercy For Mercer
by Sharingan-Youkai
Summary: Same fic as before, only I've made it moderator friendly. In which Alex Mercer experiences a series of unfortunate events that shows the world the meaning of FAIL. Rated T for minor language and violence.


**A/N Spawned by my boredom and love of game fails. Any fails marked with ** are fails that actually happened in my gameplay with bits added for effect, any others are just imaginative fails that could have happened if the game wasn't so uniform in its movements and execution's…Plus some idiotic situations that I found funny as hell…**

**I DO NOT own Prototype!**

**This was partially inspired by Youtube btw...**

**Warnings: Humour, swearing, human consumption, property damage, Alex bashing and your average game fuck ups. (Meaning my inability to control my own fucking Character) –Alex)**

* * *

**~When Nature and Gravity work together~**

** Perched on the edge of a skyscraper, Alex Mercer watched the tiny looking humans as they went about their business. Post stamp sized cars moved sluggishly over the roads, the occasional echo of a horn the only real noise reaching him at such heights. He glanced to the side, spying a helicopter that past by his location, the pilot completely oblivious to his presence. With a smirk, Alex stood from his perch and stepped closer to the edge, intending to spy on his target with his hawk like vision directly below him.

All of a sudden, a strong gust of wind struck his back, forcing his upper body forward. With a surprised yelp, Alex tipped head first off the towering structure, arms and legs flailing as he attempted to correct his descent in order to catch an updraft he could glide on. The ground raced up to meet him, and with a resigned sigh Alex ceased his ridiculous flailing as he plummeted, impacting the sidewalk with a thunderous boom that demolished the cement twenty feet around him in all directions, creating a perfect crater with an Alex shaped hole in its centre.

Alex's target by now having fled the area at the appearance of Zeus.

Inside the crater, Alex groaned.

* * *

**~When the perfect disguise backfires~**

Disguised as a harmless old lady, Alex hobbled his way along the sidewalk as horns and shouts blared a block or so behind him. Several military trucks flew by his disguised form in a heated search for the destructive Virus after he had decided to demolished their base of operations. At last, the alarms ceased and the coast was clear.

With a smirk tilting the wrinkled lips of his current form, Alex edged away from the crowded sidewalk and made to cross the street, intent on getting back to Dana with the new information he had gleaned about Gentek. Just before he was about to step onto the warm surface of the road, a gloved hand suddenly latched onto his elbow, causing Alex to stiffen and turn his head to see who had dared touch him.

An obviously green Blackwatch trooper stood beside his disguised form, the proximity of his enemy nearly driving Alex into predator mode.

"The roads pretty busy at the moment miss, let me help you cross." The troopers distorted voice said, and Alex felt a tick developing on his brow, and he bit his tongue to stop the angry retort that itched to fly out of his mouth. He grudgingly nodded his head, remembering that he was indeed a little old lady at the moment, and apparently people liked to help little old ladies cross the street.

With a sigh Alex allowed the Blackwatch Trooper to loop his wrinkled hand over his armoured elbow, and with small, unhurried steps the currently larger male 'helped him along'. Inwardly seething at the unintentional blow to his manly pride, Alex grit his teeth, unaware of the trooper holding his free hand out to stop traffic.

"_This is so fucking degrading." _Alex thought viciously, but held himself in check, not wanting to blow his cover in broad daylight with so many Blackwatch troopers around. Finally, they reached the other side of the street and the other male released his hand.

"There, safe and sound." The man said with something suspiciously like proud triumph in his voice.

"_Christ, he sounds so damn __**proud**__ of himself, what is he, a fucking boy scout?" _Alex thought derisively, before suddenly getting an idea. He put on a show of fragility and raised a shaking, wrinkled hand to pat the man's arm, and with the old ladies weak, _old _person voice said;

"Why thank you, young man. But really," He suddenly shifted into his default form, hood and all. "It wasn't necessary." He finished in his unmistakably _male _and _young _voice, before baring his sharp teeth in a feral grin. The trooper jumped back with a shriek, finger instantly snapping up in his direction.

"Ze-Z-Zeu-Z-Z-" Alex rolled his eyes and folded his arms.

"Z-Z-Z-Zeus!" He finished dramatically for the obviously shocked man…or kid, throwing his arms into the air. "Now scram!" He snarled, hands turning into deadly claws to take a half-hearted swipe at the man, who practically screamed in terror before spinning around to flee, putting on a good show of speed in his terror. Alex stared after the trooper in silence for a moment, before snorting. "Dana's gonna love this." He said out loud, before remembering being helped across the street like a freaking _invalid. _He scowled darkly after the trooper.

* * *

**~Why you should always watch where you're flying~**

Alex grinned savagely as he jumped his way across several rooftops, heading for the helicopter that had been chasing him for the last half hour, generally giving him hell as he tried to evade it. "Now you're dead!" He shouted as he launched himself of a roof, gliding his way right for the helicopter, fully intending to hijack it.

Something shifted in the air, and Alex's form wavered._ "What the…" _He thought, glancing down for anything that might have caused the shift. He shrugged it off and looked back up, only for his eyes to widen almost comically as the windscreen of the helicopter stared back at him. "…Shit." His face hit the windscreen first, followed by the rest of him that hit spread eagled on the reinforced glass. A second later he cracked open an eye to see the two Blackwatch troops in the front leaned as far back in their seats as possible, arms and legs thrown in front of their bodies as if to protect themselves. One lowered their arms to peek at him, and Alex heard the troopers shocked laugh through the glass.

A second later, Alex felt himself sliding of the nose of the aircraft and he bared his teeth in a savage snarl at the trooper as his cheek slid against the glass, making an odd squealing noise, a second later he slipped off the helicopter like a bird on a windshield.

* * *

**~When complacency meets inattention~**

"This is just too easy." Alex murmured to himself with a sly grin, sneaking up behind his target. The target was a scientist with a high security clearance that he needed to get into an important Gentek facility. The man was clad in a white coat, typical for all scientists. He was completely oblivious to the danger he was currently in, too busy scribbling on his steel clipboard to notice Zeus creeping up behind him.

"_Gotcha." _Alex thought with smug triumph as he reached out to grab the man.

The scientist suddenly mumbled something about an idiot breaking something or other and swung around with his clipboard raised in the air, about to shout out to someone to fix the problem.

Alex didn't see it coming, and if he had, he would have done the smart thing and ducked, but unfortunately he saw the clipboard too late, and with a solid 'thwack', the thin sheet of steel and paper smacked into the side of his face. The move was so fast and unexpected, the surprised Virus' head swung to the side, his body following the motion causing him to do a full spin before his legs twisted and his face met the floor.

The scientist blinked at his clipboard in confusion, then looked down at the twitching figure sprawled on the ground, mere feet from his person.

* * *

**~Why you should slow down when taking corners~**

Alex grinned as he sprinted along the road, his legs working furiously under him as he ran, chunks of road flying up behind him. He jumped over several cars as he continued his mad dash to safety, the three chopper strike team hot on his heels in the air above him. He flew up the road, ignoring the bullets that pelted the ground a few feet behind him. Sharp blue eyes spotted a turn just ahead, and his grin widened when he saw that the buildings were too closely packed for the strike team to follow him.

With a heaved breath and a solid kick to the road, Alex flew around the corner at top speed.

And promptly ran into the side of a tank.

The solid armour of the massive vehicle shuddered on collision, and his impact made an odd 'ping' noise as he bounced off its side, sending him flying back onto the road, his back skidding along the ground for a good several yards until his head hit the curb, effectively stopping his backwards slide.

Alex stared up at the cloudy sky, stunned motionless at what had just happened.

* * *

**~Why you should always think before you leap~**

The hooded form of one Alex Mercer darted from rooftop to rooftop, hopping between buildings with ease born from experience and a little biological help. Jumping over a highway that intersected between buildings, Alex glanced up at the towering skyscraper he intended to climb. The height would be perfect for a full view of the city, and it wouldn't be easy for Blackwatch to spot him, as even helicopters didn't go that high.

With a grunt he kicked off his current roof and launched himself at the skyscraper, legs outstretched to catch onto the glass.

He should have accounted for his momentum and velocity, if he had, he would have known not to jump onto glass, reinforced or not, at such high speeds.

His booted feet hit the glass, then promptly went right through it, the glass shattering around his point of impact and effectively opening the insides of the building up for his unintended entry.

He squeezed his eyes shut as glass flew by his face, scratching his cheeks and forehead as he passed through the window, then hit the solid tiled flooring, where he proceeded to fly into and through several cubicles before finally coming to an abrupt stop, courtesy of a well place concrete support beam.

When the papers finally stopping raining down from his speedy entry, and a few heads popped over the untouched cubicles lining his path of destruction, Alex managed to peeled himself off the support beam. He stood on wobbly legs and turned back to the window, taking a few steps towards it before swaying on the spot and falling face first onto the floor with a groan.

* * *

**A/N And that concludes the first chapter. This isn't going to be overly long, just two or three chapters depending on ideas. I'm taking prompts from you guys! So if you have any game play fails or funny in-game ideas you want written, review of PM me and I'll see what I can cook up! Thanks for reading, and hope to hear from you soon! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME PROMPTS! This was so fun. I love Alex, don't get me wrong, but seeing things go to crap for him is always funny. Forgive any spelling mistakes and the like, I didn't bother reading this over cuz its just a damn spoof.**


End file.
